3.06.2005

Jujyfruit

Well, the title is just because that's the open box of nasties that lies before me (I had a few back when I got them last winter, but now they just sit and rot their rotty rot).

After glancing at the blogs of several others (namely, those in my linkeroos), I figured "Hey, why not post."

First, my weekend (and week) have been good. My 'sister' was home from school, as was my very good friend (with a bit of a pond seperating us). I must say, every time I see them back home, it reminds me just how much I actually did miss them. I suppose while they're gone, I just kind of focus on myself and those present. I do admit that I miss them, but I just don't really comprehend how much until they get back (you don't know what you've got 'til it's gone).

Second, I've grown in my faith lately.
True, this should be an ever on-going thing, but well, it's not (truth!? human!? what!?). Yes, I'm willing to admit it. 12 step program, you might say, and the first step is admitting I'm wrong (wha!?). Anyways, there have been so many little things in my life (both in the past and lately) that I never saw. But it seems just this weekend I finally realized it was God. Perhaps His way of always having my back. Perhaps His way of showing me he's watching.
Either way, I've grown. I would say I'm proud to say that, but I don't like saying I'm proud of anything being that pridefulness can be bad.

"Pride goes before destruction,
a haughty spirit before a fall."
-Proverbs 16:18 NIV

Summary: I've grown in my faith, amen.

Next up is life in general. Well, I suppose this kind of contradicts my previous statements, but so be it (since when am I one to worry about congruence).
I've been struggling a lot lately in life. I feel so much like I have no direction, don't know where to go. I was once walking in darkness, but have found the light, and now walk with Him personally. So, it is not that I'm lost, but perhaps that I am being tried. At least, that's what I like to think it is.
I've felt so much temptation lately. Many times I am able to fight it, or at least most of it. My human nature tends to be the root of it, and so there are so many small things that I give in to say "what will it hurt?" But they do add up. I always see just how much I am giving in as I look back every now and again.
The best way I can try to describe how I feel (to use imagery, if you will): is like a plain, and I can see a plateau above, my destination. But between me lies a dark forest, or really a dark anything. Whatever it is, I can see where I need to get, but the trail there is a difficult, confusing, winding, I-don't-know-what-other-adjectives-I-can-use path.
But, nobody ever said that being Christian makes life a cake-walk (in fact, most believe quite the opposite).

Anyhow, I suppose that'll be my rant for today. Hope anyone enjoys this. Comments are always good.

I guess I should finish up that Photoshop for Brodie so he can have it tomorrow...
Duty calls!

2 comments:

Lydia said...

I think I know exactly what you mean about the winding path through the dark forest. I've always felt that I know God has a plan for my life, and that He knows exactly what each step along the way will bring, but He only reveals it to me as I need to know it. So, it's like I'm on a path, and I can only see one step ahead of myself, or maybe even not at all. Very frustrating for someone who wants to know what's coming next at all times! Hmm, we should have some type of support group for those of us who don't know what to do with their lives. There sure are enough of us!

Lydia said...
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